Category Archives: Sprinkles of Humor

These gingers like to find the funny in life.

The “D” Word

Jack (pointing at Cubmaster Dan Colpi): I know that guy. He ate a worms and crickets at Ryan’s meeting!
Me: Yep, he did!
Jack: Mom, why would he eat worms and crickets?
Me: Because his Boy Scout Pack hit a goal with their popcorn sales.
Jack: Ryan sold popcorn? Holy Crap!!
Me: Well, Ryan didn’t sell this year, but where did you learn “Holy Crap?”
Jack (casually): Oh, there’s a kid at school who teaches me bad words. He taught me the “s” word, the “d” word, and the “f” word.
Me: Hmm, what’s the “d” word?
Jack: I already told you! “Holy Crap!!” “Holy Crap!”
Me: Ooooh… hmmm. Well, it’s not a nice word. Maybe you should tell your friend to teach you nice words.
Jack: (In the backseat working on his “h” sound). Well, now that I think of it, I am not sure why we call it the “d” word when it doesn’t start with “d.” That’s dumb!

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God Bless Elementary Teachers Everywhere

I wasn’t cut out for this. I wasn’t cut out for this….

I can be pretty impulsive, so when my almost five-year-old, not quite ready for Kindergarten, expressed an interest in learning to read, I jumped on it. Homeschool curriculum purchased, I finally had the time and was ready to teach my last child to read!

We’re on day 59, and though the connections are finally being made, we hit an impasse today…

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Me: Jack, let’s look at the picture. What is going on in this picture?

Jack: The girl is feeding those stinky animals.

Me: OK, let’s sound out those words.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feeeeeeds theeeee chickens.

Me: Not quite. Let’s try again. Use your finger to point to the words.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn is feeeeeeding theeeee chickens.

Me: Are you sure that last word is chicken?

Jack: That’s what it looks like.

Me: Well, this picture is deceiving, Jack. Let’s sound out the last word.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn is feeeeeeding theeeee chickens.

Me: Jack, there’s only four words, and here’s a hint– the last one isn’t chickens.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feeeeeds theeeee chickens.

Me: Jack, it’s past tense. Let’s pretend it happened yesterday.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feddd theeeee chickens.

Me: Great correction. Ok, let’s ignore the picture. Let’s just sound out the last word.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn is feeeeeeding theeeee chickens.

I literally smack my forehead and Jack starts laughing uncontrollably.

—(a half hour has passed, I have planned next week’s lessons and am considering a beer at this point)–

Me: Are you ready to stop laughing and get these four words down? I am not asking you to pretend you know the words. I want you to sound out the words on the page. And by now you should know “Jan” and “the,” so you don’t have to sound those out. You can do this– there are only four words.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feddd theeeee chickens.

Me: Are you sure that last word is chickens?

Jack: Hhheeeennns.

Me: YES!!! Put it all together now!

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feddd theeeee chickens.

(HEADSMACK)

 

 

 

Trucker Salute

Back in the olden days, when Paul and I were dating, he drove a Jeep. We’d drive around Cincinnati worry-free (or at least it seems like that now that I look back on it), Paul teaching me the appropriate hand signals to offer other Jeep drivers, while I soaked in Cincinnati, trying to discern if this could really become my forever home. He didn’t think I was paying attention then, but I was (at least a little bit). Then the engagement happened, and Paul bought a used Ford truck from my dad’s company (maybe that would win him over?), and I had to learn the appropriate hand signals to offer other truck drivers. He didn’t think I was paying attention then, either, and he’s probably right– I was planning a wedding!! Either way, after thirteen years of lessons, I think I might have it down.IMG_E0122.JPG

Minecraft

After reflecting on his life, the Littlest Ginger announced that he likes his Minecraft world more than his real life. A little offended, I went into great detail all the things he can’t have in Minecraft that he has experienced in the last 24 hours– his soccer game (and two of his siblings’), a sleepover birthday party, playing outside, and the opportunity to attend a college soccer game to name a few… He argued that he can have all those things (and even a sheep) in his Minecraft world and went into his great detail how he is able to produce whatever he wants in his world. #defenselessagain #wecan’twin #wewillmissyouwhenyouaredigitallilgingerdsc_6381.jpg

Spicy Hot

Paul’s garden is underway and producing more jalapeño peppers than we can keep up with. His new favorite appetizer, introduced to us by a neighbor, is stuff jalapeños wrapped in bacon. As a result, we end up burning our mouths off as we challenge ourselves by eating these peppers. We find having glasses of milk nearby helps soften the after-burn, though it’s certainly not a miracle worker.

Yesterday morning, I tried to put a lid on my coffee mug and ended up spilling the entire two cups all over my legs and feet. I screamed because it was so hot, and the Youngest Ginger ran to get the milk. If I didn’t stop him, he would have dumped the milk on me!

Here is the ginger-lesson-of-the-day: Hot does not equal spicy.

Ice Cream

Friends of ours hosted a last-day-of-school ice cream social for the neighborhood kids and friends. Ginger4 filled his bowl, ate it quickly and went back for more. When I told him he needed to ask permission before helping himself to another bowl, he said he didn’t need to ask permission– he already knew what I would say. I asked him what I’d say, and he responded, “No, absolutely not.” He concluded he didn’t like the predicted response and took matters into his own hands.