God Bless Elementary Teachers Everywhere

I wasn’t cut out for this. I wasn’t cut out for this….

I can be pretty impulsive, so when my almost five-year-old, not quite ready for Kindergarten, expressed an interest in learning to read, I jumped on it. Homeschool curriculum purchased, I finally had the time and was ready to teach my last child to read!

We’re on day 59, and though the connections are finally being made, we hit an impasse today…

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Me: Jack, let’s look at the picture. What is going on in this picture?

Jack: The girl is feeding those stinky animals.

Me: OK, let’s sound out those words.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feeeeeeds theeeee chickens.

Me: Not quite. Let’s try again. Use your finger to point to the words.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn is feeeeeeding theeeee chickens.

Me: Are you sure that last word is chicken?

Jack: That’s what it looks like.

Me: Well, this picture is deceiving, Jack. Let’s sound out the last word.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn is feeeeeeding theeeee chickens.

Me: Jack, there’s only four words, and here’s a hint– the last one isn’t chickens.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feeeeeds theeeee chickens.

Me: Jack, it’s past tense. Let’s pretend it happened yesterday.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feddd theeeee chickens.

Me: Great correction. Ok, let’s ignore the picture. Let’s just sound out the last word.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn is feeeeeeding theeeee chickens.

I literally smack my forehead and Jack starts laughing uncontrollably.

—(a half hour has passed, I have planned next week’s lessons and am considering a beer at this point)–

Me: Are you ready to stop laughing and get these four words down? I am not asking you to pretend you know the words. I want you to sound out the words on the page. And by now you should know “Jan” and “the,” so you don’t have to sound those out. You can do this– there are only four words.

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feddd theeeee chickens.

Me: Are you sure that last word is chickens?

Jack: Hhheeeennns.

Me: YES!!! Put it all together now!

Jack: Jjjaaahnnn feddd theeeee chickens.

(HEADSMACK)

 

 

 

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Trucker Salute

Back in the olden days, when Paul and I were dating, he drove a Jeep. We’d drive around Cincinnati worry-free (or at least it seems like that now that I look back on it), Paul teaching me the appropriate hand signals to offer other Jeep drivers, while I soaked in Cincinnati, trying to discern if this could really become my forever home. He didn’t think I was paying attention then, but I was (at least a little bit). Then the engagement happened, and Paul bought a used Ford truck from my dad’s company (maybe that would win him over?), and I had to learn the appropriate hand signals to offer other truck drivers. He didn’t think I was paying attention then, either, and he’s probably right– I was planning a wedding!! Either way, after thirteen years of lessons, I think I might have it down.IMG_E0122.JPG